I like to watch sports in my own way. I can watch around other fans but just let me enjoy. Don't talk my head off or ask 1,000 questions or tell me how you originally invented the yellow first down line you see on TV.
Here are some things that just irk me to the bone (not a lot of comedy in this one but a true sports fan can relate). For all of you who know what I'm talking about, here ya go...
10.) Let's fight
This is the guy (or girl) that can't stand for anything negative to be said about their team even if it's true. How immature of a sports fan can you be to have a complete breakdown when someone roots for another team.
Example:
Fan 1: "War Eagle!"
Fan 2: "F*** Auburn! ROLL DAMN TIDE!"
And then it starts....
*** I guess 10(b) would be the fan who yells stuff like that at the most random times.
Bar Band in Pensacola: "Thanks everyone for coming out tonight."
Fan: "Geaux Tigers!"
Really? What does that have to do with anything? ***
Come on man, just watch the game and root for your team. And let the other guy root for his. I've watched plenty of games with rival fans and have never been in a tussle or shouting match.
9.) True colors
Here's the fan that pays his/her tuition or lives in a college town and wears some other college's gear around. Or how about one of my favorites, the fan that has a university decal with another university's car tag.
I understand, to an extent, if you go to Podunk State Tech that doesn't have a big athletics program, but if you attend a university and openly support another, you should be asked to leave (or least not park on site). Why in the world would you go to, let's say, Oklahoma and plaster Texas decals all over your back windshield?
8.) Sit down
This may be more of a "pet peeve" than anything. Your at a ballgame and sitting in the middle of a row and the group to your right just HAS to get up and go to the concession stand or bathroom 30 times in one quarter. I will gladly trade seats with you if I can just sit and enjoy the game instead of worrying about you two-year-old dropping his mustard-covered, half-eaten hotdog you for some reason let him hold in my lap. SIT DOWN!
7.) Sit down, Part 2
Even worse, I was at the 2000 SEC Championship Game in Atlanta (not because I'm a fan of either, but because the tickets were free). My "free" seats were literally two rows from the Georgia Dome air conditioning vents in one of the end zones.
GREAT SEATS (wink)!
Dude in front has to stand for the entire game because he is apparently Auburn's "super-fan". Give me a break. The family behind me has three small kids (which I also dislike is certain situations. I mean, who really likes other people's kids in pubic?). I was uncharacteristically over-patient with this fella, thinking he was just taking it all in. Well, after a quarter and a half the father behind me asks, "Hey man, can you sit down? My kids can't see a thing." To which "super-Tiger" replies, "Don't bring them to the game." Thankfully, he sits down 10 minutes later (after he proved to all of us that he didn't have to) before being pummeled with beer bottles. If something big or excited was happening, everyone in the section would stand. But dude, you can't see what's going on anyway, we're having to watch the dots on the field run around on the Jumbotron. SIT DOWN!
6.) Questionnaire
Simple. I don't mind answering some questions about the game, but if you know nothing about it... GOOGLE IT! I'm not here to give you a tutorial or a history lesson on why referees wear different caps or why Team A has a red on orange color scheme. Sometimes I don't know, sometimes I don't care, and sometimes things just are and no one SHOULD ask why.
5.) Let's talk
Watching a game with a crowd of people, one can not expect to hear everything if not anything that is said during the broadcast. That's cool, sometimes watching is enough. But if I'm sitting watching a game with fewer than ten and I'm obviously into the game, don't come talk to me about your Aunt Percy's hysterectomy or the girl you saw at the bar last night. I don't care. God made commercial breaks and game clocks for a reason!
4.) "Wanna be" fans
This fan is the one that may halfheartedly watch a game or two a year but wants to talk all about it. So, instead of watching the game, you find yourself correcting them more than paying attention to the batter who just swung at a first-pitch breaking ball with the tying run on second in the bottom of the ninth. UGHHH!
3.) Mr. Know-it-all
Everyone that actually follows sports know this guy/girl. The type that knows a little bit but thinks they know a lot.
"They've got to throw the ball more."
Oh, really. The coach has spent every waking second of his week analyzing not only his team but the opponent and he still has no clue what he's doing. Granted, some coaches do dumb thinks. When Major Applewhite was Alabama's OC, you could guarantee you would see two runs and a heave down field on most all three-and-out drives. Being a fan of a team does not mean you know more that the coach.
Maybe he's not throwing it because the QB hurt his shoulder in practice on Wednesday and the team kept it under wraps. Maybe the secondary poses match-up problems that they saw in the hours of tape they watched. Maybe the coaches are trying to attack a weakness they saw in film. Who knows?
Watch the game and root for your team. I know it's fun to try and be coach but it's annoying to other people because deep down, no one really cares what you think about coaching.
2.) The Freak
Dude the TV isn't yelling at you. Why are you yelling at the TV? "Go, Go, Go!" "Yes, Yes, Yes!" "No, No, No!" are all acceptable things to scream when (a) everyone else is as intense and into the game and (b) you don't follow it with a "You f-ing idiot!" then drop kick your host's coffee table, slam you beer, and go outside to smoke a Marlboro Red.
1.) High School Parents
I know the previous annoyances dealt with random types of mostly college fans (I do live in the south) and their "issues" but the worst of the worst is the high school parent. I can't even specify a gender because I've seen the worst of both. Moms are whiny and don't always understand the game and dads are overbearing and end up acting more childish that the kids they're watching.
I'll give advice to each side (remember, this applies to high school kids, not little leaguers).
MOMS - If you don't know the game or the rules, don't argue when something goes against Little Johnny. And that doesn't mean say "It's OK baby" when he/she strikes out with the bases loaded. It's not OK. Sports are meant to help kids learn from pressure and competitive situations.
Example: Little Johnny grows up to be a dentist and pulls the wrong tooth. "It's OK baby" ain't gonna cut it.
Kids need to learn from their failures, supported throughout, but failure is good. They don't need to be babied in that situation. Just clap, say "get 'em next time" and cheer on the next kid up to bat.
On the flip side, DADS - The kid knows he struck out and doesn't need a "COME ON SON!" yelled across the park. I've never seen a high school athlete intentionally fail. Shut up dad, you sound dumb!
I know this is all wishful thinking. I'll always remember the Men in Black quote when Tommy Lee Jones says, "A person is smart, people are dumb."
Ain't it the truth.
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